It's a girl!!!! :)

It's been a hectic few days getting adjusted and having many visitors. Right now my little princess is still sleeping (she only got up 1 time last night!!! :)) so I thought I would use this quiet time to post our story. 

If you have been reading my blog then you know that we have had a rough adoption journey. We have been officially waiting for 13 almost 14 months. We have had 4 failed matches. It hasn't been easy but it was so worth it! On April 12th, we got an email from our SW asking if we would want to be considered by an expectant mother. She gave me VERY little details and I said yes. She said they were meeting with her that afternoon and they would let us know when a decision had been made. By that Friday I hadn't heard anything so I emailed for an update. She replied back that we were still being considered and she would be in touch by the middle to end of the next week with the decision. She also asked us to keep the expectant mother is our prayers that weekend. We did (and already had been) and by Thursday of last week I still hadn't heard anything. Since Friday was Good Friday and we are using a Christian adoption agency, I figured they might be closed so I emailed her again Thursday afternoon asking for an update. She replied back that a selection had not yet been made but that they had received more information they would like to discuss with us in person. She said it wasn't anything bad and not to worry but of course I freaked out because we had never been called in before. I replied back and said we would be there Monday at 4:45 (her suggested time/date) and that she had me worried. She responded with please don't  worry and try not to think about it much this weekend. Um yeah right! :) 

So all weekend we went through what we thought it could be. We had some ideas and one of our ideas came true but we didn't want to get our hopes up about anything because we had no idea what it could be. Well we get there and they start telling us about the "Birthmom." They told us a few details about her and said "What do you think?" I was thinking to myself If they called us down here for this, I'm going to be upset! LOL We said it sounds great! She said well then we have other news..... The baby GIRL was born on 4/12. Her Birthmom signed on 4/13 and her 10 day revocation period is up ... (looked at her watch)..now... she's yours! Oh and she's here... do you want to meet her? I almost passed out!!!!!! We got to love on her for about an hour that evening and were told to be there at 11 am Tuesday morning to bring her home. We made a quick Babies R US stop on the way home that night to buy some pink stuff. All of our failed matches had been for boys so we had lots of boy clothes (my sister has 3 boys and passed them down to us) but only 1 pink blanket and no pink outfits! Now -- 3 days later -- her closet is completely packed with girl clothes! :) We are truly blessed!!!!!!!

Adoption really is a family affair...

There is a book out with the title "Adoption is a Family Affair."  I need to try to pick it up sometime and read it. I was just thinking this morning about how true that title is. During this process, and the ups and downs that have gone along with it, I have been so focused on how the roller coaster ride has affected Ryan & I. Obviously it affects us more than anyone else BUT I never really gave much thought to how much it affected our families. Our parents have thought they were going to be grandparents (Ryan's for the first time) 4 times now only to be disappointed each time. Our siblings have had to ride that roller coaster thinking they would be aunts and uncles (some of them for the first time) over and over again as well. I feel so bad that I've only focused on how it affected us and not thought about how they would be feeling about it. :( I've been selfish and I intend to change that going forward! I'm not sure how many of our family read this blog but if you are reading this, THANK YOU for going through this process with us! Thank you for being supportive and at the same time trying to be cautious in what you ask so that you don't make it harder on us! Thank you for the thoughts and prayers that we don't even know about. We can't wait to introduce you all to your new grandchild, niece, nephew, cousin! I also can't wait to be able to share with them how loved they are and how many people have been praying for them long before they were even born!!!!!

Most importantly, I want to thank GOD for letting us go through this process! Yes it's been hard but already it's been so worth it! We have met the most wonderful people through this process! Some will be lifelong friends. God has also helped us be able to educate people about adoption which has been amazing. Mostly though, he has used this journey to help bring us closer to him and for that in itself, I am incredibly thankful!!!!!!!!!

While I'm writing, I should say that we are still just waiting for "THE CALL." We met with our new caseworker last week and we really like her! She seems really sweet and seems to be a very caring caseworker. We loved and miss our last caseworker but we are excited to see what happens this year and are excited to have a fresh face to work with! We have already told her that we hope not to work with her long. Haha! We have been working on getting our paperwork updated since we have been approved for a year now (I can't believe it's been that long already!). At first, it was hard to realize we have been waiting for a year and were having to update everything but we are confident that this year will be MUCH better!!!! Thanks to everyone who is keeping up with our journey. I'm sorry that I'm not a better writer. I should have Ryan do the posts as he is a lot better with words than I am! Regardless, I hope to give an update with good news really soon!!!!

It's almost Spring!!!

I can't believe how warm it's been already! We have had high's in the 70's some days. We are really enjoying it. I can't wait until it's officially spring!! :) Hopefully the warmer weather will inspire me to update this blog more often! My sister yelled at me last week about not updating so here goes.... 

We really haven't had anything happening in regards to the adoption lately. We are still just waiting. At the moment, we are working on updating our home study since it is now a year old. Ugh! To be honest, I NEVER imagined we would wait this long... however.. our Faith is still in God and we know he has a plan! For now, we are trying to just enjoy the life we have now and enjoy doing the things we won't have time for once we finally are blessed with a baby like going to movies, taking Sunday naps, etc. Anyways hopefully I will have a real update to post soon!!! 

Almost a year later...

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!!!! We had a great one and really enjoyed spending time with our families!

I can't believe that in 2 weeks, we have been "active" and waiting for a whole year! It doesn't seem like that is possible. I'll be honest, I didn't think it would take this long at all! Our caseworker didn't seem to think so either. We have actually had a lot of "almosts" and possibilities which is good (except for the sadness that go with them falling apart). I'm really hoping that 2011 is our year! It's definitely been a rough 6 months are so but I know that HE has a grand plan and I'm exciting to see what that is! I had a rough day yesterday thinking about how it's been a year but this morning I feel a lot better about things. Hopefully that holds up all day!!!! Anyways if you are reading this, please pray for all of the waiting adoptive couples that they will hold on to their faith (in God not anything else!) and know that one day their child will come to them! Also please keep birthparents & expectant parents considering adoption or those who have already decided on adoption in your prayers! They truly are making (or have made) a life changing selfLESS decision. It has to be the hardest decision they will ever have to make and one that will stay with them forever. They are truly wonderful people who put their child's needs before their own. Please pray for the caseworkers working with both adoptive parents and birthparents/expectant parents that they will work hard to do what's best for the child above anything else!

Another Failed Match ... :(

Last week we had yet another failed match. :( We had gotten the call on 11/1 that we had been selected again! She was due on Christmas day with a baby boy but would probably deliver much earlier. We were excited but tried to remember that things can always change. We told more people than we meant to but it's just so hard to keep something like that in! Anyways we were supposed to meet them on Thursday morning. When I got up to get ready, I noticed I had a missed call and voicemail from our agency. We honestly thought she was in labor or something! Anyways I called them back and she said those dreaded words... she has decided to parent. It was easier to process this time maybe because we only knew about it for 2 weeks or more likely because we have been through this 3 other times so we kindof knew what to expect. We know God has a plan and we truly do trust in him and his plan! I do wonder at times why we have to go through the pain and suffering of failed matches! I know that he has a reason though so we just push on knowing that one day all of this pain will be worth it!!!! I pray for all 4 of the baby boys ( how weird is it that they have all been boys?) and their parents everyday!!! Maybe that's the reason behind the failed matches.. just so we will pray for them? Anyways we have been very busy and are going to have a very busy holiday season! Lots of showers and weddings to attend/throw! We are still hopeful that we will have our baby home at Christmas, but if not, we will enjoy this season with our wonderful friends and family and be thankful for all that we have. We are truly blessed!!!

A no update .... update... :)

I thought I should probably post an update of some sort since it's been a while!!! There really isn't anything to update though. We are still just waiting for another phone call. I talked to our caseworker about 2 weeks ago and unfortunately things seem to have slowed down again. Luckily, Fall is a busy season for us! Football season is in full swing and we pretty much stay on the go between football games, fall festivals, school, work, etc. It's been nice though to keep our minds off the waiting!!! We have even gone to a few away Georgia football games this year! We figured HOPEFULLY next year we will not be able to go any away games so we should go ahead and go to as many as we can this year! It's been fun having some little mini-vacations!!! Especially since we haven't taken a real vacation this year saving all of our vacation to be out with the baby when we get him/her! :) Anyways that's about all for the updates. Thank you to everyone who reads our blog. I know I'm not the best writer and haven't had much to update lately but I appreciate all of you for visiting often and keeping up with our journey! I am also thankful for all of your thoughts and prayers!!!!! Hopefully I will have a more exciting update VERY SOON!!!!!!!!!!

Just wanted to share..

Have you ever felt so discouraged that you started doubting if something you wanted REALLY bad was ever going to happen? Ok --- I was that discouraged on Tuesday afternoon. I had spoken to our caseworker and while she's really sweet and I honestly feel like she does truly want for us to get a baby almost as bad as we do, she's not really the best at making me feel better. I actually usually feel worse after I talk to her because she usually tells me that they are really busy and have lots of pending matches but no one is looking at our profile anytime soon. ( ok she doesn't say it like that but that's the jist of it!) Anyways this was my day on Tuesday and I was in a foul mood! When I got into my car to go home I was praying that God would help me get out of my funk and let it all go and give it all to him. I pulled out of my work parking lot and onto a side street and out of the corner of my eye I see this man on the side of the road holding a cross. Yes a CROSS! I had to do a triple take on this one! It was a huge cross about the size I would imagine that Jesus carried the day he died for our sins! I have no idea who this guy was or why he was on the side of the road carrying a cross ( or even if it was a real cross and not something that just kindof resembled a cross), but I KNOW without a doubt that God put him there to remind me that he will carry all of the weight of this world if we will just let him!!!! I haven't told anyone about that until now but I just felt like I needed to share that. I've given it all to him and am just going to try to enjoy my life and not be discouraged. He WILL provide for us and he has a plan for our lives. Hopefully this might help someone else who is feeling discouraged and disheartened right now!!!!

Faith

Honestly without faith, I know without a doubt that I would not be able to get through this process!! We just had our 3rd failed match this past weekend. It wasn't truly a failed "match" but it was really close and hurts just as much! I am sad of course but have really been thinking about Faith and what it really means to have Faith in God thru the bad times. Faith is easy when things are going well, but when it really matters is when you are going through hard times. This morning one of my devotions was this:

On this day, God wants you to know 

... that faith is exactly what it takes to get through uncertainty. Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, - that's knowledge. It's in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it's all darkness outside. Now is the time to keep that faith alive!

Perfect huh? :) I pray that our time will be soon but most importantly I pray for God's Will to be done!!! ( and also some patience to get me through! :)). Here are a few bible verses that I love that are about faith.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)


Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11: 28-31)


Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," delares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity." (Jeremiah 29:11-14)

Another failed match.. :(

Yep we had another failed match last week. It all happened really fast and we didn't even tell anyone about it until it had already failed. We got a call last Monday evening from our Caseworker. They had a birth-mom who had given birth to a little boy on July 6th. We were told to be cautious as she had not called our agency until the previous Friday so they didn't know much about her and couldn't say one way or the other what they thought she would end up doing. Anyways we got the call on Thursday afternoon that she had decided to place the baby with a doctor at the hospital. We of course are sad again but we know God still has a plan. Luckily this time, we did not meet her or the baby so it's been a little easier than the last time. It is still hard though!!! Hopefully the next one will be the one for us!!!!!!

Networking....

I spoke with our caseworker yesterday and she said they really don't have any birthmothers at the moment who haven't already picked families that are due before Fall. :( That got me thinking that maybe I should try "networking." I honestly don't know where to start or how to "network." I've heard about other people finding "situations" thru facilitators, attorney's, etc. I am thinking about just looking around. It can't hurt I suppose! :) Our fees with our agency are a lot lower than most so I'm not sure I'd even find anything we can afford but at least I'll feel like I'm doing something! If anyone reading this has any suggestions on "networking" please let me know! Our family & friends all already know about our adoption journey so that isn't a networking option really.

Sadness...

Well it's been a while since I've posted and a lot has happened. We were supposed to meet the birthparents that choose us on June 7th. We got a call on June 6th that the birthmother was in labor and at the hospital. She wanted to meet us before the baby was born so we rushed down to the hospital. We met her, the birthfather, her mother, her sister, & her best friend. They were very nice and we really enjoyed getting to know them! The baby was born about 1 1/2 hours later while we sat anxiously in the waiting room. We got to visit with them more afterwards and got to see him. He had some medical issues and was on a feeding tube so we couldn't hold him. He was 5lbs 9.3oz and was 17.5 in long. He was 4 weeks early! We went back down the next morning and visited with the birthparents and got to see the baby a little more that day. They were supposed to sign the papers the next morning. We got the call around lunch that they had decided to parent. :( We were devastated as we had already bonded not only with the baby but also with them.

The past week has been hard but we know that God has a plan and are trusting in him! We learned a lot from the experience and hope they learned something from meeting us as well! We are praying for them and the baby. He had to have surgery when he was 2 days old. We did get word that he made it through surgery ok and should go home in about another week. We are happy for them and hope everything continues to go well!

Now we are back to waiting again. :( As you know, I'm not good with waiting so this idea has been very hard for me. I think the worst part now is that Motherhood, something I've waited for so long for was so close and then it was taken from me and although I know I will eventually be a Mommy, not knowing when that will happen is very hard for me! I know that it will get easier as the time passes and I just hope I can keep myself busy enough to keep my mind from dwelling on it!

We are matched!!!!

We got the call around 12 p.m. today! We have been matched with an expectant mom who is due July 15th with a baby boy! We are beyond excited. I can't even explain how surreal it feels. It has definitely been a wonderful yet strange day! :) I can't wail until July!!!! We are going to meet the expectant mother on June 7th. I can't wait to meet her and just hope she likes us in person!!!!!

Lazy Saturday's are the BEST!

Don't you just love the weekend? Especially when you can be lazy and do absolutely NOTHING if you want? I know hopefully we won't have many more of these but they sure are nice for now! :) I especially need it after the week I had! It was crazy at work this week. We didn't have computers for 1 1/2 days which made the crazy week even worse. Luckily I survived!

On Tuesday morning, I got an email from our caseworker about a baby that was already born and in need of a home. Everything about the situation was perfect except 1 thing. I won't go into details for privacy reasons but it was really hard to not respond to the email! :( It was such a surreal moment though getting that email. I didn't realize how it would affect me. She did find a wonderful home so I felt much better after hearing that! I also heard from our caseworker that they have been a little busier with birthmothers lately so hopefully we will hear something soon!!!

Back to Realty!

Well it's back to realty today! Ryan & I took a very short notice trip to Hilton Head last week. It was a much needed break from realty!!!! :) We had a great time but are glad to be home. It was nice because for the 1st time since we have been going through the adoption journey, I wasn't attached to my phone 24 hours a day! I purposefully left it in the condo for most of the trip. It was nice to not be constantly looking at it to see if I've missed a call. Now it's Monday and back to realty! :) It's going to be a busy busy week but I'm refreshed and looking forward to it!

I heard from our caseworker a couple of weeks ago. I had asked if we had been shown. She said no. So it's been about 3 1/2 months and we haven't been shown once. She said it has been extremely slower this year than in past years. :( I'm trying not to get discouraged but it's hard to know that we haven't been shown at all yet. Hopefully things will pick up soon!!!!

Happy Friday!!! :)

I'm so glad it's Friday!!! This week has been a good but long one! I noticed I had not posted in a few weeks and thought I should post something. I really don't have any adoption updates. We are still just waiting. This phrase "We are still just waiting" is something I have gotten very used to saying on a daily basis! I know people mean well but I can't seem to get them to understand that as soon as I hear something, I'll let them know!!! :) I do appreciate that they all care so I can't get too aggravated! I can't believe we have been waiting for 3 months now. It has actually gone by really fast looking back. I'm still hoping for a Spring/Summer baby!!!! :) This week the waiting hasn't been as hard as it has been. I've really been focusing on work and enjoying my time with Ryan!!! I did buy my first baby outfit ( I have lots of clothes but my sister has given them to me so this was my first purchase! :)). I didn't need it because we have TONS of clothes ( Thanks Amber!!! ) but it was on clearance for $3 so I couldn't pass it up. That's what happens when you are shopping for a baby shower gift for someone else! Ryan didn't go with me this time so I was able to look around a lot longer than if he had been with me. I'm so thankful that a baby shower is no longer something I dread!!! :)

I'm looking forward to a good weekend! My little ( or not so little actually --- he's 17.. :( ) brother is coming to spend the night with us tonight and we are going to some yard sales tomorrow morning!!!! It will be fun!!! This will be the first time I've been where I'll actually want to stop at the ones with all the baby stuff. LOL Ryan might kill me when I come home with LOTS of stuff. At least it will be cheap!! :)

Waiting is so hard! :(

Well we have been officially "waiting" for almost 2 months now. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I think the unknown is what makes it hard for me. I think if I knew when it would be, even if it was going to be a while, it would be easier than knowing that it could be anytime! I try not to dwell on it but it is always in my mind. Hopefully the warm weather will help me to not think about the wait as much! :) I asked our caseworker last week if our profile had been shown yet. She said no and that they didn't really have any birthmothers that were at the point of looking at profiles. I almost wish I hadn't asked!!! :) My sister & nephews spent the night with us last Friday night. I loved having them all here. My sister has 3 boys ages 3 (almost 4), 2, & 4 months.  My youngest nephew is growing so fast! They all are adorable and I miss them already!!! I'm hoping we can make a trip down to visit them soon!!!

Few More Pictures ...

Ok so you can tell I'm a little obsessed! I just wanted to post a few more nursery pictures. I can't wait till we have a baby in that room!!! That's all that is missing besides the name at this point.

Bedding is in! :)

So I'm super excited that our bedding FINALLY came in today! :) I only ordered it in early January!!!! It's been on backorder but came in today and I absolutely LOVE it! I washed the sheets ( I ordered an extra one with the bedding set) and we put it all in the crib. So basically the nursery is complete! We still have pictures to hang, a toy bag to hang * and stuff a bunch of those stuffed animals my husband can't stop buying in it!*,  and the letters (once we have a name) to hang but that's it. Oh and of course adding the BABY! The wait so far hasn't been too bad but now that I'm finished working on the nursery, I'm afraid it will get a LOT harder!!!!

More Nursery Pictures...

Here are a few more nursery pictures. It's basically finished besides the bedding which is still on backorder, hanging stuff on the walls, and of course the baby! :)

Waiting...

It seems like thru the entire adoption process (so far at least) you are always waiting. Waiting for Ryan to get on board with Adoption, waiting on the agency to acknowledge our preliminary application, waiting for them to process our preliminary application, waiting to be accepted into the program, waiting to start the home study, waiting on background checks to come back.... etc...

If you know me, you know that I'm definitely not the most patient person in the world. Actually my husband might say that I'm the least patient person in the world! :) Right now I'm waiting on our home study to officially be approved and it's driving me crazy to say the least!!! Our caseworker went ahead and gave our profile's to the birthparent counselors weeks ago and we are already online so this is really just a technicality but I still would like to know that we are officially approved and nothing is going to come up that needs to still be done. I'm really hoping that once we finally get this in hand, the waiting won't be as bad because then we are truly just waiting on our baby!!!! :) I know God has a plan and I believe he has used my infertility and now the adoption process to help me become a more patient person. Believe it or not, I have grown in this area, however, still have a hard time waiting on other people! I'd much rather do things myself than wait on someone else to do it! I'm sure I can't be alone in this. I'm also pretty certain that our caseworker is extremely ready to be finished with us so that she will not see my name in emails everyday anymore... hehehe... I'm just kidding.. I don't email everyday.. it's more like every few weeks which hopefully isn't too much more than she gets from other adoptive couples. There really wasn't a point in this blog post but I hadn't posted anything in a while and I needed something to do to keep me from emailing our caseworker yet again to find out what in the world is taking so long!!