Sadness...

Well it's been a while since I've posted and a lot has happened. We were supposed to meet the birthparents that choose us on June 7th. We got a call on June 6th that the birthmother was in labor and at the hospital. She wanted to meet us before the baby was born so we rushed down to the hospital. We met her, the birthfather, her mother, her sister, & her best friend. They were very nice and we really enjoyed getting to know them! The baby was born about 1 1/2 hours later while we sat anxiously in the waiting room. We got to visit with them more afterwards and got to see him. He had some medical issues and was on a feeding tube so we couldn't hold him. He was 5lbs 9.3oz and was 17.5 in long. He was 4 weeks early! We went back down the next morning and visited with the birthparents and got to see the baby a little more that day. They were supposed to sign the papers the next morning. We got the call around lunch that they had decided to parent. :( We were devastated as we had already bonded not only with the baby but also with them.

The past week has been hard but we know that God has a plan and are trusting in him! We learned a lot from the experience and hope they learned something from meeting us as well! We are praying for them and the baby. He had to have surgery when he was 2 days old. We did get word that he made it through surgery ok and should go home in about another week. We are happy for them and hope everything continues to go well!

Now we are back to waiting again. :( As you know, I'm not good with waiting so this idea has been very hard for me. I think the worst part now is that Motherhood, something I've waited for so long for was so close and then it was taken from me and although I know I will eventually be a Mommy, not knowing when that will happen is very hard for me! I know that it will get easier as the time passes and I just hope I can keep myself busy enough to keep my mind from dwelling on it!